I’m pretty sure I would be happy living the rest of my life and never eating a hardboiled egg ever again. On Friday, my pre-boiled, pre-peeled eggs arrived in giant 25 lb tubs. The event had finally come – Chef needed 700 deviled eggs for Sunday. Thankfully he had ordered prepared hardboiled eggs, although they’re (as he would put it) quite dodgy. Bouncing the rubbery eggs off our cutting boards provided (disturbing) entertainment.
Friday was a busy day for all of us. Chef seemed concerned about the two upcoming events over the weekend and looked considerably more relaxed when I told him I had a game plan for dealing with the eggs as part of my own prep. I would slice the fresno chilies, cook off two trays of bacon, and halve the eggs on Friday and then bake the brioche crouton cubes and make the filling on Saturday. 350 eggs turned out to be a lot more than I had expected, however, especially since Friday night was the busiest in a long time. With over 360 covers, I didn’t have any time to squeeze in extra prep during service and had to push it all out on Saturday (along with prepping for yet another busy service that would include a 40-top party).
I was so excited once I finally finished halving all the eggs. Each plastic hotel pan held 60 egg whites per layer, so between a 400 and a 200 pan, I ended up with 12 layers (720 egg whites). But now I had nine quarts of egg yolk to process! It was daunting to say the least.
I consulted the sous chefs and decided to go with their suggestion of combining all of the yolks, a gallon of mayo, and the flavorings in a large bowl or pot and using our giant stick blender to pulverize it all. Easier said than done, however, and it ended up being a two-man job. Meat Guy helped me blend everything since the blender was about as tall as I am and I just couldn’t get the right leverage to mix it effectively.
When we were finally done, I told him I wanted to take an “after” picture since I already had a “before.”
Meat Guy: Wait a sec… [smoothes out the top of the deviled egg filling mixture]
Me: Making it all pretty for the camera?
MG: [sticks his (clean) finger into the mix to start writing something… first just a long line]
MG: [notices me watching him] I was just going to write “eggs” …
Me: [calling him out] You were going to write “fuck” weren’t you?
MG: [sheepish grin] Yea…… can I?
(for scale, that “little” jar on the left is a plastic gallon jug of mayonnaise)
What made me a bit discouraged is that despite all of this effort, I just know that there will be people at the event who will remark “Oh, just deviled eggs?” Sure, they’re “just” deviled eggs but it’s a lot of hard work to make SEVEN HUNDRED you ungrateful food snobs! (Aside from not wanting to give up a Sunday, this was my primary reason for not wanting to go to the event with Chef.)
So at the end of the day, Meat Guy and I agreed. Fuck Eggs. :)